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I just recently ran into a sweet childhood friend. We ended up talking for a bit. We talked about our parents, we talked about life, and our current aspirations. It is good to be known. It is good for my soul to have a relationship with someone I have known since I was four. As much as I want to go to Target and not be seen at times, I need the love in my life. Those relationships have made me who I am. These people have known me my entire life, and have loved me through so much. I spent too much of my life trying to be all things to all people. It is impossible. There are people in your life who will watch you struggle, watch you succeed, and love you the same. These are your people. This is the energy you need in your life. This is the energy I need in my life.

I have always aspired for more. Aspiring for more also means that I am rarely content. When I was a little girl I would dream of moving to New York to be an attorney, or maybe a writer at a big magazine. My mom likes to remind me to just be happy. It used to annoy the shit out of me. I would think does she not see the dreams I have for myself, and that I just want the best life possible. She saw it all along. She also saw I haven’t always appreciated what is right in front of me. There is a difference between appreciating what we have, and pushing to be the best version of ourselves we can be.

Do big cities still make me feel alive? Absolutely. It is okay to still dream. It is okay to still want more. It is not okay to be so infatuated with what is next that you lose focus and appreciation with what is right in front of you. Sometimes the more we want things to change, the more they need to stay the same.